The Aquatrols Revolution ad that will never see the light of day

I found this little gem when I was rummaging through some old files on my hard drive. This was one of the first ad comps I put together for Revolution. I thought it was a real knee-slapper, and Stan (a.k.a. "Science Guy") also thought it was a hoot. However, Andy (generally referred to as "Fearless Leader" for my own personal amusement) turned a little pale when I said I was considering unleashing this one on the unsuspecting superintendent public.



These guys may not ever grace the pages of Golfdom or GCM, but you CAN have your very own copy, complete with letter of authenticity. A veritable collector's item, I tell you! Just drop me a line and I'll send ya one. Limited time offer -- not sold in stores -- order yours today!!

Dear Miss Manners... What's the social etiquette for Cancer?

Recently we found out one of our friends has the big C-word again... She was diagnosed with cervical cancer a little over a year ago and had the big surgery and whatnot. A couple of months ago we all got together to have dinner and hoist a few, and she announced that her last checkup was just that past week and her doctor proclaimed her "cancer-free". Whoopie!!! We all breathed a sigh of relief and happily toasted her great news (a couple of times).

A couple weeks ago we get the call. It's back, and this time with a vengeance. Now it's in her lymph nodes and pretty much her only option is chemo. And that's just to slow it down and buy her more time, not get rid of the cancer. Ugh... what do you say to that?!?!

To keep the rest of us in the group from being good-intentioned royal pains in their ass, we started out doing the call chain -- one person would get the news, then pass it on, and so forth. However, this doesn't seem to be working too well, at least for me. We have a couple of "dramatic" links in this chain, so you're never sure if the person is really on their death bed, or just has a hang nail. Both hubby and I have been told by the first link that she doesn't want to talk to anyone and we should just leave her alone for now. Okay -- does this mean she REALLY wants to be left alone, or you called on a bad day and she bit your face off unintentionally and now you're afraid to call back?

Nobody gives you a rule book on how to deal with this stuff, and I really think someone should write one. We're taught how to respond to good things in our society, but to ignore or skirt the bad things. ("Don't stare or ask questions, honey. It's not polite.")

I started thinking about how I would feel in the same situation (although I sincerely think it's impossible to know what you would really do until you're there). I would probably be a bit cranky that I got to be the unlucky soul and not someone else. And even if I was having a bad day and bit your face off when you called, I think I deserve to have a shitty day considering the circumstances. Don't get bent because I'm not considering your feelings -- I'm being selfish because I may not have that much time left to be generous with. Maybe I'm too scared to call you back, thinking talking to the "cancer patient" will wig you out. And how the hell do you start the conversation anyway, when you have a 900-pound gorilla of a disease breathing down your neck? C'mon... Pick up the phone and call me.

At least that's the way I think I'd feel. So despite the warnings from well-meaning friends, I called her this afternoon. We didn't talk too long, I was at work and her visiting nurse was about to show up. But we had a nice conversation about the spring weather, and her heater that's on the fritz, and whether or not her male visiting nurse was a cutie. (She says he's a nice guy, but not a real looker. Guess you can't have everything.) Semi-normal stuff. It was good to hear her say firsthand that, despite the fact that this all sucks so royally, she and the family were doing akay with it so far. At least today anyway. Maybe despite all the abnormal crap she's got to deal with right now, maybe I helped her feel like a plain old normal person for a few minutes. Hell, that's the least I can do for a friend.

So kiddies, my advice for the day is this. Don't rely on second-hand information; go to the source and find out for yourself what's going on. And if you don't make the call because you're afraid of what to say, call anyway -- they're probably just as afraid on their end.

Revolution drums change color slightly

Just a heads-up that the color of the Revolution drums will be changing slightly.

When we started looking for packaging for Revolution, we wanted something that really stood out for our out-standing product. Paul in production found a really cool royal blue from one of our suppliers, so that's what we went with. We had a couple of established products already being packaged in blue, but that was more of a flat grayish-blue color so there would still be easy visual differentiation.

So of course now that product is flying outta here like there's no tomorrow, Paul gets a call from our drum supplier -- there has been some consolidation in the drum producing industry. Someone bought out the guys who used to make the cool royal blue (the ONLY company in the US to make that color, incidentally), and of course promptly decided to discontinue it from their product line. AAAGGHH!!! Well, maybe that just warrants an "aw, poop!" more than an all-out gutteral scream, but annoying nonetheless.

The Revolution drum will still be a different blue than the others, but not the cool royal we had to begin with. Now it's kind of a medium blue, right smack in the center of the color spectrum between the grayish-blue and the royal.

And in the grand scheme of things, you don't really care, do you? See the bizarre things us marketers get our undies in a bunch about? :o)

New long term surfactant? - "caveat emptor!"

That's latin for "let the buyer beware" -- always good advice no matter what language or century IMHO.

While I usually don't need a reason to spew bizarre trivia (before I became the Google Queen I was the Queen of Useless Knowledge) I do actually have a point behind the above comment. Well, two actually, but only one I want to bless you with today.

Last year everyone here at Aquatrols was all hopped up about this new chemistry we were offered. (It was a molecular find by someone outside our industry who didn't want to elbow into surfactant-land.) It was a long-term formulation, and was supposed to have better performance characteristics and last longer than our current long-term product Sixteen90. We guarantee Sixteen90 for 90 days of performance (get it? -- "sixteen" ounces, "90" days? Never mind...) The new stuff was touted to last 120+ days! Wowee!!

This was based on one year of data -- so being the research geeks that we are, we of course wanted to further test the bejeezus out of it before we agreed to take it on. When the second year of data came in, it wasn't looking quite as pretty... A little more phyto than we thought was acceptable, and there didn't seem to be consistent performance for 120 days -- it was all over the page. Bummer...

Needless to say, we took a pass on this one. But you know what they say, one man's trash is another man's treasure -- I hear tell that another company will possibly be picking it up. If the gossip is correct, it's a company who is currently promoting another product we checked out in the not-so-distant-past and took a pass on as well. So anyway, the moral of this story is, if you happen to see another long-term hit the market in the next year or so, "caveat emptor. " Ask for all the research data behind it before you decide it's the best thing since sliced bread and swiss cheese.

Speaking of asking for the data, the results of the wetting agent study in GCM this month looked a little wishy-washy. I've already asked for the data behind this one (see, I'm such a geek!) and they assure me that it will be posted on www.eifg.org soon. I think that'll be more telling than the averaged data.

That's why they call me the Google Queen

Google is truly the ultimate playgound for information junkies! My latest find is Google Maps which is WAY cooler than MapQuest for getting location maps and driving directions (I used to be a big fan of the latter). Google Maps lets you interactively zoom in or out and move around the map without having to wait for a new screen. Plug in an address on a single line (instead of filling out a bunch of different fields) and boom -- you're there. Then it will ask you if you want directions to or from this location and boom -- your map overview and turn-by-turn directions are right there. Sweet!

They've also recently bought Keyhole, which is a 3-D satellite mapping system. On their FAQ page it states: Google's mission is to organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful. Keyhole's technology and products are an excellent addition to our efforts to do that. We do not have any announced plans regarding how this technology will integrate with our current products and services. Just like any techno-geek worth their salt, if it's cool they want it, even if they're not sure what they're going to do with it. :o)

Keyhole is a subscription service, so you have to pay to use the satellite mapping. It's $30 a month for personal use, and $600 a month for professional use. Didn't really check to see how they decide which pricing category you fall into -- I have no real use for it other than checking out an aerial view of my house, and I already know the roof needs fixing. Checking out an aerial of your course and surrounding neighborhood might be a useful application though.

Aquatrols Essay Contest winners announced!

Congrats to our winners of the 2005 Aquatrols essay contest!

Jaron Andrews – Grand Prize Winner $2,000
Jaron is the son of Marvin Andrews, the Superintendent at Isleta Eagle Golf Course in Albuquerque, NM.

Sarah Shear – Runner Up $1,000
Sarah is the daughter of Howard Shear, Owner/Manager of Echobrook Nursery & Landscape in Worcester, MA.

Jaron and Sarah did a great job, and we wish them the best of luck in their college pursuits. Their essays will be posted on the Aquatrols website shortly if you want to take a peek. (By rights we should have them posted already, but for some unknown reason our hosting co's server periodically refuses us access -- and this would be one of those periods.)

In case you have not yet heard about our essay contest, it's open to college-bound children of turf and landscape management professionals. Doesn't matter what they're going to college for, as long as Mom or Dad tend something green for a living. Hey, college ain't cheap!

The Revolution continues...

Okay, I stand corrected... Apparently we have a number of the big guys who are currently taking Revolution for a test drive on their courses. Out of the top 10 we have:

Pine Valley (#1)
Shinnecock Hills (#3)
Cypress Point (#4)
Pebble Beach (#6)

Not bad for a start. :o) So where are the rest of you slackers? And don't tell me you're too conservative to try the new stuff -- you don't become a world-class superintendent by waiting to see what everyone else is going to do.

(Editorial note: just so we're all on the same page here and nobody gets their undies in a twist -- the aforementioned courses are not in any way publicly endorsing Revolution, they've just simply purchased it. Could be painting their house with it for all I know. I just think it's way cool that the big boys are playing with our new stuff. So there.)

Pine Valley joins the Revolution!

Pine Valley (America's #1 rated golf course no less!) has just joined the Aquatrols Revolution!
But this really doesn't come as much of a surprise to us. What else would the Nation's best course use? Why, the industry's best, of course! :o)

In all seriousness, the way Revolution has been flying out of the warehouse these days, I'm half wondering what took them so long to get on board. We blew out our first quarter projections BEFORE the first quarter even started, and never looked back.

'Scuse me while I go sing a chorus or two of that Beatles tune....

"..you say you want a revolution, well you know, we all want to change the world..."